sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
