somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
