When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
