Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
