I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
