You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
