enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
