you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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