Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My life is pants optional.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
