When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
