On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
