Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
