omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I deserve this hangover.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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