Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
