Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
