She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize