No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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