farters have to be the big spoon...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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