Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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