I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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