Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The ass gains better be worth it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize