I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You need a sexual gate keeper
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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