was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You are the jesus of drinking
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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