it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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