What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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