So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
