is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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