it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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