I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
