the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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