left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
