What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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