i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
