My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
