Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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