During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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