I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
