So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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