wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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