there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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