I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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