I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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