Only a mothe r could love this liver
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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