Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
