I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize