Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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