I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
