mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have to summon your inner elephant
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
