Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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