I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
