Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
