I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I love having hate sex.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
