Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
