can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
