He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
we should paint friendship bongs
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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